Traffic School ©

Malati Marlene Shinazy at Traffic School

Awhile back I wrote a story entitled, “Paying Attention.”  It was all about this luscious first date I went on and how I concentrated on every minutiae of the gorgeous man, meal and good-bye kiss.  As I drove home, attention to detail flew out the window, replaced by a daydreaming drive — until I found myself looking up at the friendly face of the law, writing me a speeding ticket…. Flash forward to Traffic School.

As a first time offender, the state rendered a two-fold fine. I had to pay money (approximately $400) and time (Traffic School).

Traffic School was more than just “time spent,” however, as there was an irritating little decision to be made. Do I attend Traffic School:

• On-line? Or through live delivery?
• Comedy delivery?  Or lecture?
• Lecture in posh college classroom thirty miles away? Or lecture in a drab community room two miles from my home?

I chose live lecture in the drab community room, two miles from my home.  Heck, if the perfect summer day is going to be spent as an indoor hostage for 6.5 – 8.0 hours, what do I care if the seats are upholstered or plastic?

My attitude is: Go to traffic school and be done with it.  My insurance company never hears about the speeding ticket and as long as I don’t get another one in 18 months, it disappears from my driving record. End of Story.

But the story doesn’t end!  It took on a new life once I posted a photo of my fellow speed-demon Traffic School hostages on my Facebook page.  By the flurry of responses this post received, one would have thought I had robbed a bank.

Friends felt obliged to scold me for speeding, tell their stories of how “they fought the law and won,” or chide me for getting caught (this reprimand came from a cop friend). Three days later, the tally of Comments approached 20.

The strangest statement was, “Has anyone here missed a mortgage payment?”  The author of that non sequitur is a friend I’ve known since he was a baby MBA from an Ivy League university.  He is now a senior executive for an $8 billion corporation.  If I didn’t know better, I’d say he must have been drunk when he wrote that comment … If he was driving as well, he’ll be the next hostage in Traffic School.

photo by nathan e  photography

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